The Bird in Flight

Well, I'm done with my last overnight call of third year, 2 days behind Amit! It should have been 2 days ahead of Amit, but apparently all the PA students scrambled to avoid our team and thus the PA that was on our team last month jumped ship, and took Amit's final call. Thanks.

I have to say, it could've hardly ended more anticlimactically. The code pager never went off once, my call room did not flood nor ruin my socks (yeah, I learned that a long time ago), and I only admitted one patient, who turned out to be destined for another service. It was definitely a far cry from my first night of call, nearly a year ago. I was on call for the nursery service on my very first day; I was given that magical pager and told to change into scrubs. An hour had hardly gone by when the thing started beeping at me, and my senior and I took off for the OR at a brisk pace. Within a few minutes, I was drying off and stimulating a newborn, urging her to take her first breath and cry. I don't think I'll ever forget that day.

Honestly, I'm ready to be done with this crazy race that is third year. I think I've taken my share of abuse and then some. I mean, in any other field, a year or two of seniority would really mean nothing. If I worked at a software development firm, for example, would I have to do anything and everything my coworker asked of me, be it do his work or even fetch dinner? I think residents sometimes forget they were in our shoes, and that it really wasn't that long ago. But unfortunately, I depend on them for my evals and my grades, and that's life.

It's a strange position we're in. Yes, a lot of the requests made of us are not appropriate. Yes, I should put my foot down and say no, especially in clear cut cases. It's hard to tell where the line is exactly though, and I do tend to err on the side of caution. I've heard some horrible stories where students fought to resist doing things that they should do, and we're all labeled lazy as a result. Or they figure out some weird way to punish us. It's all kind of passive-aggressive behavior, imo. On the other hand, as Amit says, I'm going to be a doctor in less than a year, and I better get used to taking charge and standing up for myself. It's probably too late for third year, but I'll start. We'll see if I can make a difference in the final two days.

At any rate, I like to think I am confident where it counts, at least for now. Yes, this patient needs florinef at least once a week, and yup, that patient can tolerate an ace inhibitor. As far as I'm concerned, seniority doesn't make a difference here. Maybe I'm being arrogant here, but as long as I've studied and looked up the latest research and guidelines, I believe I can confidently say I know what I'm talking about. I notice my attending agreeing with me more and more, too. So I think that's paying off... most of the time, anyways.

Oh, and I saw Batman Begins... awesome movie, thoroughly enjoyable. It's too bad they didn't set up the ending for a sequel though. ^.~